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Sunday, October 14, 2018

October 14 -- Why I need to grow

Possibly, by yesterday's post, you might surmise that I need help. Mostly that I need to let go of some of the pain. It has followed me for the greater part of my life, that stabbing, tear jerking pain that surfaces to the top, to the very top and will not submerge again until I have had a good cry... or have cleaned the house from top to bottom.

That is how I have always dealt with it. Crying or cleaning. Sometimes crying and cleaning.

At some point, I need to be able to talk openly to people about this, and to somehow be able to help someone else who has gone through it, but how?

Since crimes, especially murder, have risen in the past forty years, there are more and more people like me. Hurt, angry, depressed, sad people that need help, there must be a way to help people who have been victims or families of victims, to get over the trauma... and so there is.

Bereavement groups are in every state. They can be found through hospitals, churches and synagogues, hospice, and various other organizations. Across the country, there are groups for people with like trauma. Whether it is for loss of a loved one to cancer, a loss of a child, loss due to natural disaster, or loss to murder, there is a group out there, welcoming people into their fold, ready to help ease the pain and suffering.

Now, there is the Crime Victim Compensation, which can go towards helping the family with burial costs, hospital bills (because even if a person is brought in dead, the hospital still charges expenses) and lost wages and support, which, believe me, is one of the most frightening things to face after a loved one dies...

For information on procedures to file visit this link to National Association of Crime Victim Compensation Boards to see what your state requires of the victims or their families.

There are a lot of other services to help families of murders since my father was killed. There is no cost counseling across the country, which can be a blessing. Murders not only leave a family grieving, in shock, and in disbelief, but they leave the family without money coming in, and because life insurance usually doesn't cover murder, they at times do not pay.      

Financial worries can cause people to forego counseling, leaving the pain, guilt, anger, and hopelessness unchecked and unresolved.

Getting on with your life can be tremendously complicated after a murder of a close relative. For me, I went back to school, kept my head down, and tried, tried very hard to not talk to anyone, let anyone see that I had emotions...



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